Sheen-shine is beating down on the Troll nation

SO you thought Pedrolgy was gone.....guess again cocksniff!

We simply went looking for a new messiah - did we fuck up and find some bearded junk-monkey? HELL NO!

It turns out he came looking for us, bow down trollnuts:

  Charlie Sheen is here!

(artists impression of actual events)

So what you gonna do about it? Well basically revel in his Epicawesomehellyeahness! Fuck, he's so good we just invented a word!

Dude tweets about #winning and #tigerblood 

We know all about #winning in Pedrology because thats what we do, thats all we fucking do, ass clowns! 

But #tigerblood ? Well we need to sort this out, as fuck knows Pedrology doesn't like ambiguity....ambiguity is like David Bowie, you like his music, sometimes you want to fuck him, but then you realise he's a skinny cockney wanker.

We think #tigerblood is a cross between -

 - that feeling you get when you want to ejeculate in to a forbidden clunge!

and 

- the feeling you get after two glasses of red wine, very slightly drunk

.....the feeling that ANYTHING is possible! 

You can literally shit tiffany cuff-links and piss Don Perignon '73 < by the way, that is what Charlie Sheen actually excretes.....prove me wrong bellend! 

If you think differently go and fist your own arse, take two man pill and come back. This dude bangs Cha-cha like its going out of fashion....we applaude this. 

He has one speed ,one gear, GO!

We have one speed, one gear, GO!

I suggest you do the same...

¿Como estás? Bitches!

So welcome back......some people said that the Pedrology blog was a little frightening, some say crude, others said it seemed a little harsh.

Allow me to answer these critics:

YOU'RE A BUNCH OF COCKMASTERS, GET YOUR JUNK TOGETHER AND UNFUCK YOUR LIFE OR I WILL PULL OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!

Ace, now we have that little issue sorted let me tell you a little more about Pedrology using a bullet point style list:

Yeah, exactly. Cos Pedrology doesn't need a mother-fucking semirapist sausage-smoking list to tell you how awesome it is. You thought I would try to reason with you with a well thought out and coherent list of pros and cons to Pedrology.....wanker.

Pedrology doesn't do cons, it's fucking pro all the way, and we don't bullet point ANYTHING! Info is just beamed straight to your face at high speed via some shit you wouldn't understand even if I took the rest of time to try and explain it to you.

So, here is a summary of what I'm trying to say in the medium of an awesome picture of violence toward a pregnant teenager......deal with it.

That is how Pedrology Rolls.

(and fuck you if you think it is supposed to say "It solves teen pregnancy", it fucking is how it is!)

Be RAD! like totally dude.......

Ok dickheads.......are we learning? ........while you are thinking about that question, go fuck yourself. 

Obviously you've learnt nothing cuntychops. You don't think. You just act. If Pedro does...you do.

SO now you are awake here is a simple example of why Pedrology is the most groin-grabbingly kickass religion.....

Check this picture:

                                    

Look at him, he's got it all, a Nintendo, a Ducktails poster, even a model of a fucking Mirage F1 jet hanging from his ceiling. 

You will never be as 'rad' as him right?  >WRONG you little crotch goblin! 

While the first statement is indeed true (that kid is awesome [to the max!]) do you think Pedrology would leave you skidding on your ballbag like unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit?            

No fucking way.

Face it....if god wanted you to be as rad as that kid he would have miracled your ass with bleached jeans and a hench mullet, but did he? NO, cos he hates you like a ginger step-son with AIDS. 

So you may ask: 'what the fuck does this mean to me you abusive hax0r admin prick?' and you'll have a good point.

Allow me to retort:  what is means douchebag is that in Pedrology we don't do miracles, we do vodka to the eye.

The only thing we have in common with any other phony ass religious is that we drink red wine by the motherfucking box (we're not posh) and Tom Cruise is a patron [citation needed].

So in a Gordon 'I'm a cunt' Ramsey conclusion: 80's kid, Awesome. Voka, eye. Red wine, box. Pedrology, RAD. Done.

BOWTIME.....

Ok, lets get one fucking thing straight...Pedro is right, you are wrong.... 

If you want to be as Pedro, which you fucking do, you must begin by drinking as Pedro.

This shit isn't negotiable, it's not like you say 'oh, well, um, i'm not really keen on cabernet-shiraz' you ARE keen on cabernet-shiraz because Pedro is keen on cabernet-shiraz! 

It's not science, it's just do exatly the fuck as pedro does and shut your fucking whining cake hole before Pedro lunges your fucking face off......

                                look what you've done, you've made me talk about lunges......

Pedro lunges, do you?

 Of course you fucking do because Pedro does, this isn't a cocksucking lesson from Professor Fellacio at the institute of sausage Jockeys, this is Pedrology.

                                                  

SO....what have you learnt? __________________nothing exactly.....you know why scrotum-face, because Pedro didn't tell you to learn anything......

(ok so Pedro wants you to ponder the monumental clusterfuck that is your life and then learn everythign about Pedrology)

If pedro says put 6 empty Strongbow cans on our fingers what do you do? eh, cuntychops? you fucking do this....

Pedrology, how, when, where and for fucks sake WHY?

Welcome to the Pedrology blog... 

If you don't know what pedrology is, your a cunt.

So in order to un-cuntify yourself here it is....

Pedro

simple isn't is.....

So you thinking....wtf.....I can do this shit, it's like being a christian but with less morals.... you're wrong fuck-nuckle. 

Pedrology is Hard-to-the-uncle-fucking-wine-drinking core! So suck it up and listen.

Do as Pedro.

Drink as Pedro.

Think as Pedro.

If your simple assenine collecion of shit you call a brain can grasp these concepts, you may begin on the path to becoming a Pedrologist.....

Following this, there will be a blogged example of my quest to Pedrology perfection....